| My very own lullaby. I listen to this every night before I go to sleep and it gives me a reason to wake up in the morning. Since all of you are sharing your life stories in the comments, I thought I'd tell you mine. I'm 14 and I kinda act a lot more mature than the rest, you know like taking stuff seriously, not partying every night, trying to do my best in school, knowing what I'll do in my future. There isn't a day when my classmates don't make me feel different and unwanted. Home's no picnic either. My mom and dad divorced a long time ago and my mom married another guy. I still see my dad, but he doesn't like most things I do and he doesn't understand me. My mom and my step-dad don't get along very well for the past year and I can hear them fighting at night, when they think me and my little half-sister are asleep. I trusted all my problems and everything else to my best friend that I hung out with for the past 7 years, but we recently got in a fight and she left me. The first time I thought about killing myself was when I was 13. I was walking home from a really bad day in school and when I was crossing a viaduct, I stopped and looked over the edge, down to the highway beneath. I thought to my self if it's even worth to go home and how nice would it be to jump and just end everything. But I didn't have the nerve to do it. I still don't, but ever since then, the idea of killing myself is stuck in my head. Some days are good and I don't even think of it and other days ... |